I am so ready for a new year. 2009 was amazing, exciting, but super intense and had a bit of a rough ending.
So 2010 rocked up. And I started thinking.
I had big plans; plans about all the things I can improve on this year; all the ways I can be a better person, better friend, better family member; about how I’m going to make the most of every minute of this year, and be an excellent student, and a hard worker, of how I’m going to save all the street kids of Latin America, and help all the homeless people here, and get rid of this chronic sickness and help out everyone else who is sick and finally put effort into my music and learn photography and go on lots of little travel adventures and start a business to make lots of money so that I can give away lots of money AND…rah rah rah on it went.
And then I felt sick. Probably mostly from the fact that my digestive system is currently overrun by evil bacteria trying to destroy my life; but also just from realizing that who I want to be is pretty much impossible and totally stressing me out.
So I can’t do it all, which got me thinking about priorities, the stuff that really counts. And this inspiring post I read the other day by Don Miller in memory of his former youth pastor. He speaks of his friend as someone who was everyone’s ‘biggest fan’, who ‘believed in people who no-one else would or could’.
And I thought, the world could do with more of those kind of people. And then I thought, I’d like to be that kind of person.
OK, so I might be dealing with a chronic illness and not be able to run 5 marathons this year and I might still have stacks of insecurities and questions. But what if that doesn’t matter. What if it’s OK to not have all the answers. What if I got the important stuff all wrong.
So I shifted my focus from stuff, achieving, & success to something much more beautiful; and so instead of ‘be perfect’, my new years resolution now looks like this:
Learn. To. Love.
Deeply, unconditionally, without agenda, valuing every person that crosses my path each day. Intentionally.
If I can manage that, I reckon it’ll be a good year.