OK this one is incredibly embarrassing. [Don’t judge me. 🙂 ]
But I think I finally understand what it feels like to have a phobia.
I’ve held snakes, killed venomous spiders, and come within meters of live and wild crocodiles.
I couldn’t stop laughing on a dangerous boat ride; I’ve swung on giant swings and climbed bridges and and even an active volcano, setting my hiking stick alight on the lava that was only a few inches from my feet.
I’ve travelled alone to countries where I don’t speak the language and where bus drivers get shot on a daily basis.
I don’t generally think of myself as a fearful person.
But…when the doctor told me I need to inject myself daily, I got an anxiety rush to rival that of jumping out of an airplane.
And after I had conveniently managed to ‘forget’ to do it for several weeks I could no longer put it off.
But turns out I can’t actually do it either.
Pathetic!! Yes, I know. Logically, I know injections don’t really hurt that much at all, I don’t want to be sick anymore and know this medicine will help, etc. etc. Logically, I don’t have a problem with it.
But apparently my emotions feel otherwise. I am fine right until the point that the needle reaches mere millimetres from my skin, then my emotions kick into overdrive and take over, and my hand freezes and my heart races…and I just can’t do it.
Maybe it’s because the last time I had injections I had a bad reaction and passed out, then was sick for the rest of the week. Or maybe I am just, pathetic.
but I will conquer this one. I am determined. Good thing I’m not diabetic. Or a druggie.
UPDATE: I did it! Phobia conquered! I am now officially fearless. At least until I have to do it again tomorrow.