Focus. or lack thereof.

fo·cus (v) to concentrate attention or effort

I think I have discovered my problem. (however am yet to find the solution..but defining the problem is half the journey, no?)

So at the moment, time is just flying, days are zooming past, and in spite my best intentions to get things done I never seem to quite be getting anything done.

And I think this is the reason:

I lack focus.

I have a busy little brain. It’s just too full.

At the moment it is full of ideas about starting a business, studying CFS/ME, figuring out the best way possible to treat this illness, planning a series of studies on each symptom and suggested treatments, thinking of all the friends I really need to catch up with, pondering ideas for the most effective ways to give street children a good chance at life, dreaming about the trips I need to take to learn about helping children at risk, trying to figure out how I can find enough energy to volunteer even while studying, attempting to sort out uni electives and timetables and cross enrolments and two universities, doing my best to keep up with world news and events after realising how incredibly ignorant I have been of them, trying to learn to cook and get committed back into my music, wondering how else I can help my chronically ill mother, trying to finish my Guatemala scrapbook before my wonderful memories fade, trying to decide which church to really commit to, trying to learn to shop ethically and live sustainably and getting overwhelmed at how impossible it can seem, trying to journal my jumble of emotions and thoughts as I deal with all this, attempting to read through the 50 odd books in my ‘to read’ pile (covering everything from economics, sustainability, biographies to supernatural thrillers and e-commerce) and trying to decide if I really can be bothered doing anything for my birthday in 2 weeks (I feel sort of obliged since it is on a saturday but at the same time just can’t be bothered.)

There is just so much I want to learn. So much I want to do.

But by trying to do it all…especially on extremely limited energy…I am essentially…achieving…nothing.


…In other news, I passed semester one (hooray!), survived a particularly ill week following another bout of treatment (it was ick. really.), and discovered that I have asian ancestry somewhere way back which for some reason made me quite excited. That makes me (heritage wise) Australian/ Scottish/ Jewish/ English/ American/ Russian/ German AND Chinese. haha.


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