Estoy bien agradecida

My desk at work

Sometimes first reactions aren’t the best ones.

When I rocked up to work on Friday and saw my work bench covered in those small glittery stars (a remnant of Children’s Eye Health day the day before) my first reaction was just a huge ‘ugh’ and ‘hmmph’.

All I could think of was how long it would take me to clean them up.

But then I caught myself….have I really become so old and jaded that I can’t find any enjoyment in something beautiful and fun…something that kids would revel in?

So I stopped and looked. And decided they were actually really pretty. And I watched a little girl play with them (and drop them all over the floor) for about 10 minutes.

And thankfully, my old-and-jaded moment passed. So maybe I have had a bad head cold all week, maybe I am feeling totally swamped under with uni work even though it is only week 2, maybe I have had to work extra days this week, maybe things aren’t unfolding just the way I want them to in life.

But lately, I just keep finding myself filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Sincerely. Not fake, not ‘I should feel thankful’, not ‘I would be grateful if I didn’t feel so sick all the time’ etc. It’s something deeper than I’ve ever had before.

I just feel so, so deeply aware of the fact lately that right now, on this same planet, in this very moment,

…13 million (possibly as many as 27 million) people are living as modern day slaves.

…almost 1 billion people are going to bed hungry tonight

…right now, somewhere, someone has just lost someone they love.

…that for so many people of the world, conflict and violence are just an everyday thing

etc etc. You don’t need me to list every horror of the world to get the idea.

And I just feel grateful. Grateful for the BILLIONS of abundant blessings in my life.
So maybe I still have bumps. And obstacles. And maybe I have to expect to be dealing with poor health for awhile.

But I think I have finally realised that to expect to get through life without hitting regular bumps in the road is just incredibly naive. And when I contextualise these difficulties within the reality that bumps are to be expected, and then place them alongside the truth that there are multiple far, far greater challenges that many are confronting right now,

I just feel genuinely, deeply, indescribably grateful.

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